Does love liberate the heart or does it chain it up.

Why do I miss the days and the times when my heart was free of any emotional entanglements.

After you, I don't think I will ever allow myself to fall again.

When does the line between consideration and basic needs get crossed.

Does Alexandra have to eventually leave.

Why does a day give promise, and another day dispel it.

Demanding, or otherwise; am I wrong to continue wavering, to give that slightest percentage wherein I leave, or fill in the blanks to which I am unable to articulate.

There are the times I think, maybe I need the man who can give me the affection and attention when I want it, as promised, because I don't always seek affection and attention. But when I do, I want it. Like a cat does.

There are times, too, I wonder why I cannot open my mouth about you. Am I afraid about my freedom and wanting for Flow to dictate just when, since the things that mean the most to me take the longest to get articulated, or is there something underlying everything that is wrong.

I need some answers, because Alexandra may go lost eventually.

I am holding on to you, not because I want to gain any benefits from you. Nothing with fame, money, experience or whatsoever. Not because you make me feel loved, not because you can give me fantastic sex. Not because of all the million and one reasons I can break it all down into. I am holding on, because I love you. That's all.

You are the scariest man to ever come into my life-- nothing in my life is ever un-scary, and you scare me the most. You represent uncertainty yet stability-- all sorts of paradoxes. I know the entire idea with busy-ness, I also know that my position is shaky because I am young and uninformed. I am so much younger, it scares me at times. Yet I can never tear myself away.

Sometimes I feel as though you are the one who has given me loads of heartache and confusion. From the beginning of the pursuit. It's partly to do with me, and partly to do with the situation. But I don't know, was this all meant to be part of the equation. I have told you I sometimes wished I never knew you; I wonder how you react deep inside besides saying that you wouldn't put it that way.

I take good care of myself and make myself happy enough. I like the ties and relations I have with others. So I always think, if another were in my life, there is no point that he doesn't satisfy me or makes me unhappy. You stand out from the rest of the men.

I stick on, but I wonder, is love enough, if the uncertainty I have is so strong. Perhaps these are too early to be answered. Or do I seek certainty too much. I sort these out myself, because I need a clear head rather than to sulk and demand. I still wonder, though, will Alexander leave with her lord one day, no matter how she lays on your satin and kisses you in the morning.

If Alexander left, the road to take would be clear.

there are the times i feel like i'm dying of anguish and of want.